I don't know what's happening I've woke up I think but it feels so weird and I don't know it's steamy in here and it seems like the apartment is burning away from reality. I smell the burning of wild sage and the smell of the ocean has faded and I need the promise of sand and surf but jesus christ my head hurts.
All of my memories are coming back and bleeding into the present. I think something has taken over my reality and pushed me into its own fantasy land.
I want to escape but I don't know how. I want to escape but I'll only escape to reality and is that really an escape at all? What happened to my resolve. What happened to letting go, James. I thought you were letting go, James. What about Arnold, James. What the fuck about Arnold? He's dead James I know James.
Who are you and who am I.
I'm sweating and I took off my shirt and it's not today it's many yesterdays past and it's about maybe a couple of months after her deamurder. It's pitch black in my room and I almost trip over my nightstand when I make my way to the bathroom. I feel the urge to vomit but it subsides and I start a shower and it felt so warm inside of the apartment and I needed to escape the heat.
I wash away the dream. I wash away Holly. I wash away the burns from the Emerald Fire.